Class Reunion

Many months ago, I received an invitation to attend the 50th anniversary of the Lehi High Class of ’65.  Right away I got started on sending things in but as technology foiled my attempts, my enthusiasm wained.  That is when I got thinking about what I really wanted to do with that Invite.  Obviously, I put it and the several phone calls from former classmates on the back burner.

I didn’t attend that reunion just like I didn’t attend all the others.  I have spent many hours since asking myself why.  I have a lot of good excuses but no real “reason” stands out in my mind.  When I saw the pictures of my old friends on Facebook, I was flooded with memories.  One stands out in my mind. It was a memory of me insisting that my mother attend her 50th class reunion which she did.  When she got home, she had just one thing to say, “I walked in and there were just a bunch of old people!”  I laughed pretty hard because she was right.  Maybe I don’t want to face that.  Perhaps that is one of the reasons I didn’t go, I don’t know.  Nothing stands out clearly in my head.

I know that upon looking at that picture, there were lots of other thoughts.  I remembered all the fun times we had together.  We were one of those classes that others envied because we worked together on many projects.  One of those was the musical, Brigadoon. We did a lot of theatrical productions and sports activities together.  I loved that.  We were a pretty inclusive class and we tried hard to involve everyone in something.  That was a beautiful thing.  Maybe I couldn’t deal with all the changes in my memories.

All of my class members, like myself have been through the mill of life’s joys and difficulties.  I know that I have become a completely different person than that altruistic high school girl, you know the “goody two shoes” that was the believer that everything was possible.  I have found love, the love of my life my husband Ken, my children and my grandchildren and hundreds of friends and family.  I have dealt with loss, the loss of my one year old, beautiful daughter Jamie and 10 days later, finding out my two other children were deaf and then another one a few years later, the loss of my father and Ken’s father in six months, the loss of the feeling that all things could somehow be made right if I only knew how to do it.  The loss of innocence,

I have fought battles so hard that to me there seemed no way to overcome them, battles with societal issues regarding my deaf family members, prejudice from individuals and the state and federal government, physical illness, a mental breakdown, unemployment, pain and suffering when the real world didn’t meet up with my vision of what people could and should be.  I have fought hard and what seems to be long.  I am still in the arena.  Many in my class have left this world for a better one.  Maybe I couldn’t face that.

I have grown!  I graduated from BYU.  I have learned American Sign Language instead of French (you would be amazed how many parents of deaf children refuse to learn the language they communicate with best).  I am a 3rd Dan Martial Artist in the Omega system as well as a 6th level teacher of Tai Chi (you never thought this girly girl would do that huh!).  I went on a mission with my sweetheart to New Zealand where I learned to value every human being for who they are. I am waiting on our next adventure to our mission in Rochester NY where I expect to put my sign language skills to work at the Hill Cumorah Visitor’s Center (there are lots of deaf in that area). I also plan to use my rediscovered artistic skills to work there. I hope my martial arts skills never have to come into play there. lol

You may ask why I am writing all this?  I suspect many of you had the same feelings I have had.  Many of you went through a great deal of introspection upon receiving that invite.  Many of you have been on the same kind of journey that I have been on.  Some of those journeys have been more difficult than mine, some less.  Nevertheless, we all have our reasons for doing what we do.  I just want you to know I don’t regret not going.I love the picture and you are still my friends and will always be.  Several of you have said you missed me and I missed you.  I love many of you deeply, I just couldn’t come.  It boils down to something as simple as that, I just couldn’t come and it is all right!