For many years, my daughter Jenny, kept asking me to join her in her pursuit of Martial Arts. I had followed her around for years to testings and parades, demos and tournaments but I didn't see myself participating in seeking any belt let alone a Black Belt! She would try to teach me some "skills" on the back lawn and it would usually end up in me laying on the lawn in fits of laughter because what I was trying to do seemed so ludicrous to me. I thought martial arts was for young, fit, talented people with a desire to torture themselves!
Little did I know that On Oct. 3, 2006, I would find myself testing to 3rd Dan Black Belt at the age of 58. I was a slow starter at 47 years of age. I only agreed to take lessons as a concession to her that in exchange for keeping books for her studio which she had acquired before even graduating high school, she would teach me Tae Kwon Do. Later on in my martial arts career, I would find Tai Chi and realize that it was the martial art and life skill I was searching for. It has been a roller coaster ride full of rewards and difficulties.
I will be ever grateful for her persistence in getting me involved in something that very literally changed me life. I had never thought of myself as being a physically oriented person. My coordination is not that of a talented athlete. I basically got kicked out of dance at 6 or 7 years of age because my teacher didn't think I was capable. My piano teacher gave up on me after 7 years of lessons. As you can see, physical coordination might not be my strong suit. I felt totally inadequate but Jenny continued to assure me that I could do it.
Life in martial arts was not easy. Jenny is firmly rooted in the traditional martial arts philosophy. In her mind and now mine is the idea that martial arts is something much more than an Olympic sport or Extreme sports pursuit. It is a way of life. It is a discipline that knits physical, mental and spiritual facets together and is much more than kicking and punching. We soon found ourselves embroiled in the "politics" of martial arts.
She hung tightly to her philosophy and changed martial arts federations a few times. In the meantime, she and I kept working on ourselves to become better at the skills we had chosen to hone. There were times that every day I would awaken with my stomach churning because of the difficulties we faced dealing with some of the members of the martial arts community. Duplicity seemed to be the order of the day for some of the people we dealt with. Because of that she determined to find a place for us where this was not the case. She wrote to or talked with leaders of more than 150 martial arts organizations all over the world only to find her answers right here in Utah just a few miles from home. We found Jan Davis, her sons and Omega Martial Arts. Martial Arts life became much more enjoyable.
Her journey has, in a sense, been my journey as well. We traveled the path together and supported one another. When I just knew that there was no way I could go forward, she would give me a "talk". She convinced me again and again that I could do this thing I had undertaken. Two weeks before my 2nd Dan test I tore the meniscus in my knee. She took me to the Dr. and sat there as I sobbed about missing my test. He did surgery 2 days later and 2 days after that I was in Physical Therapy. I was at my test and did every part of it that I could. I passed the test because of what I had already accomplished before the actual test but was given the choice to finish the test the next year. Even though I wasn't required to do so, I waited another year to finish. When that belt was tied on me, believe me, I knew I had earned it.
During that same block of time I chased Jen's succession of rock bands. I chased that Black Belt in just the same way I chased Jen's bands. I became the best "groupy" that I could be. I learned to correctly wind all the cords and cables associated with machinery required for the bands. I took great joy in listening to the band wherever it was and whatever they did. I had them practice in my basement so that I would know where they were and what they were doing. I did the same with martial arts. I don't remember all the tournaments I was a "chaperone" to, often me and a group of teen and pre-teen boys and Jenny. I have no idea how many kids and adults I associated with in both arenas. They were amazing, often unconventional people from whom I learned so much. Often the groups became intertwined as martial artists got involved in the music and musicians began taking martial arts.
We set up "Hearing Aid" which did concerts for the hearing band members and community to join in raising funds for a camp for deaf children. We went to that camp and taught martial arts to the deaf kids at camp. I learned to love a whole new bunch of people who all had huge hearts. I chased the band and I chased the belt. It has been a long an fateful journey for which I am so grateful. Through the difficulties and the triumphs, it provided me a group of people that stood together while trying to create something wonderful.
What was the most important lesson I learned? I learned that everything is spiritual if you choose to make it so. Some of those rock song lyrics touched me in a way that nothing else did because I took the time to read them. I didn't just listen to the music, I listened to the lyrics. Some had to be discarded as is true in everything but some were amazingly insightful. When I meditate in Tai Chi, I often can go to a zone that I find only in two other places, the temple and home.
Lessons learned and duly appreciated become part of your character. Chasing after Black Belts and Rock Bands was worth every minute as an integral part of who I am becoming. As Shihan Jan Davis would appreciate, it taught me to BE!
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